Kobold Press
Showing articles tagged “Your Whispering Homunculus.” See all articles »

Your Whispering Homunculus: Peculiar Relationships

Familiar by Mike Lowe

Art by Mike Lowe

The odd quirks of spending altogether too much time with a familiar or homunculi and the perils thereof…

“So, dear master, this is the end. The magic jar is readied, and the spellbook is before me, yet still you snore.

“How sad it has to come to this. I only hope my trotter will not hamper my casting. Let the gods of magic and familiars and pig parts be on my side.

“So, goodbye cruel master, prepare to be my slave…”

Although we say it and shouldn’t, this whole master/familiar/follower/companion relationship is odd. It can’t be healthy, spending all that time together; one party giving out all the orders, the other doing exactly as instructed. Surely at some time one party is going to rub off on the other, or worse, rub the other up the wrong way?

The chart below gives you a few suggestions about the quirkier behavior exhibited by familiars and homunculi. It could also, if you wish, be extended to other close relationships such as animal companions, animated undead followers, or animated objects that spend just that little too long in human (or elf or gnome or goblin) company. Some of these traits may not suit particular familiars of followers, adjust them or assign them as you wish.

Continue reading »

Your Whispering Homunculus: Least Guardian Angels

Your Whispering Homunculus

Continue reading »

Your Whispering Homunculus: 100 Strange Pets

Your Whispering Homunculus

“Bring it here!”

“Bring what here, master?”

“I’m not going to argue with you, cockroach, nor engage in tittle-tattle with a creature unable to beat a slug at snap or a hedgehog at cribbage. I’m referring to the thing you just put in the cupboard.”

“Oh that, ’tis nothing master, just some stray kitten I found.”

“I see, then let me have it.”

“Yes, master, here it is.”

“Kitten, you say. How odd. I thought they normally had four legs. Tell me, how would you describe this kitten of yours?”

“Fleshy.”

“And?”

“Unpleasing to the eye.”

“I see, and how many legs would you say it had?”

“Thirteen master.”

“Thirteen. Yes, I must confess, slimeslave, that I have yet to hear of any kitten with thirteen legs, pale flesh, and two heads. Not to mention the wings. You’ve been at my transmutation spellbook again haven’t you?”

“If I said yes would you punish me less for being honest master?”

“No.”

Anyone can have a cuddly kitten, a funny gerbil, or pet snake. These creatures are commonplace, but what kind of animals might appear in a pet shop where a manticore is a common sight, or in a world that breeds chokers and gibbering mouthers? Such places would surely have more exotic creatures than a slobbering collie dog or a purring fat cat.

Here is a list of exotic pets, together with a brief description if necessary. These creatures can become the basis for odd familiars, or even odder animal companions, the stuff of menageries or the servings at table. Some are less exotic and more tragic, some may defy logic, and others may in fact be fake. Some are very real, yet to look at them you’d think someone would have to make them up. Have fun with all of them, and be prepared to be surprised about just which are real and which are fantasy.

Continue reading »

Your Whispering Homunculus—A Time to Think of Those Less Fortunate, Part 3

Your Whispering Homunculus

A.K.A. Face thy Woe, and Know that thy Woe Has a Name, and that Name Is Kobold . . .

The Mouse Trap – A Kobold Adventure Path

They know only two things about him—his name and his trade.

They call him the Trapmaester, and for good reason. His (or is it hers?) are the greatest, most elaborate and devious traps ever seen in the alpine town of Ulrichshorn. Ever seen anywhere in the world some rightly claim.

Continue reading »

Your Whispering Homunculus—A Time to Think of Those Less Fortunate, Part 2

Your Whispering Homunculus

A.K.A. Face thy Woe, and Know that thy Woe Has a Name, and that Name Is Kobold . . .

Koboom!—A Kobold Adventure

The Shockdeath tribe is small and little known, but they have a deadly secret.

The tribe members have mated in the past with a group of dark stalkers and creepers, and as such, have inherited a little of these latter creatures’ death throes ability. When you kill these kobolds, they explode, messily and violently.

Continue reading »

Switch to our mobile site