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One Too Many (Voices in My Head): T’weren’t a Twerp, T’was a Twanger

Welcome to Greg “Yankee Dog” Vaughan’s One Too Many (Voices in My Head). His last, best chance to exercise those pesky demons. In his column, you’ll find… I really have no idea, but he gave me $20, so… all yours Greg!

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“Pass me the twanger,” said my friend, Harley Upchuck.

“What did you just say?” I asked.

“I said, pass me the twanger,” he replied mildly.

“Just exactly what the heck is a twanger supposed to be?!”

“What are you getting at?” he shot back, feathers ruffled.

“What are you getting at?! You’re the one who wants me to pass something called a twanger! It sounds like the mix of some prop from a porn movie and an astronaut drink!!”

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One Too Many (Voices in My Head): Reflections on Misery

No, Vaughan's dignity's not over here either.Welcome to Greg “Not the Smart One” Vaughan’s One Too Many (Voices in My Head). His last, best chance to exercise those pesky demons. In his column, you’ll find… I really have no idea, but he gave me $20, so… all yours Greg!

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As I type these words, I have put the finishing touches on the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game conversion of Part Eight of The Slumbering Tsar Saga, and Part Seven awaits only its final art turnover before it goes to print. As a 14-part adventure series, that means I’ve passed the halfway mark in this Herculean task (that’s actually Herculean +2 for any of you who are counting), and I figure it’s time to rest my carpal-tunneled, degeneratively arthritic hands and take a moment to reflect upon this milestone… a milestone of pain, in my opinion, as I stare down the home stretch of the last six parts, but a milestone nonetheless. So to take a rest from working on it, I’m going to type a column for KQ.com. Mama never said I was the smart one.

But wait, you say, what is this saga that you speak of? Sure, we’ve seen it in your little bio at the end of these columns, but we just figured it was more of that crap you make up. Well, to answer your so-rudely stated question, as I am its author, technically it would fall under the category of that “crap” I make up, but I assure you it does really exist, and as it bears down on my heart and soul with its incessant burden, it serves as my own White Whale… a White Whale riding a polar bear… on a bike… carrying a monkey… yeah, it’s that bad. So, without further ado a little background. Turn on the Wayback machine, Mr. Peabody…

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One Too Many (Voices in My Head): The Christmas Hog

And this little pig had roast VaughanWelcome to Greg “The Most Dangerous Game” Vaughan’s One Too Many (Voices in My Head). His last, best chance to exercise those pesky demons. In his column, you’ll find… I really have no idea, but he gave me $20, so… all yours Greg!

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“And that puts you at −75 hp. The soul trap releases your soul, finally allowing you to die after undergoing the most abject, excruciating pain and humiliation known to man or any other sentient species… Kevin, are you paying attention?”

New Kev looked up from his artfully stacked tower of polyhedral game dice, “Huh, what was that?”

Apparently New Kev’s mind had wandered—I call him New Kev because I can’t call him Kevin J anymore, and there’s another Kevin in my regular game, so I can’t call him that either. I was perfectly content to call him Kevin J since that wasn’t his middle initial, yet I had somehow cleverly (and unconsciously) engineered it to appear that way in the publication of the trilogy of Pathfinder Society scenarios that he and I had co-authored together. Some people think I take glee in the misfortune of others… but that’s actually only true when it really hurts and I have somehow engineered it or might be able to take credit for it at least. In this case, Paizo had thoughtfully removed the J from the publication after learning of my deception, and Kevin had told me that he liked the J because that was where he kept his mojo. Well, that couldn’t be allowed to continue, so the J was banned, and he was back to just New Kev until I could find some other suitable form of torment for him…

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One Too Many (Voices in My Head): There’s No J in Kevin, but there’s a K in Paybacks

Greg Vaughan eats dead PCsWelcome to Greg “Not a Wus” Vaughan’s One Too Many (Voices in My Head). His last, best chance to exercise those pesky demons. In his column, you’ll find… I really have no idea, but he gave me $20, so… all yours Greg!

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As an RPG writer, I am sometimes beholden to that merciless taskmaster, that sadistic overlord, that destroyer of hopes, dreams, and aspirations… no, not my editor… a product review. Actually, I jest. I love getting product reviews of things I’ve written, and everybody I know who writes RPGs does too. Good or bad, all are useful and informative.

In fact, there are never enough reviews out there, so all you readers get off your duffs; you think plunking down your hard-earned cash for a product comes with no strings attached? Heck no. You buy something, you’ve got responsibilities… a duty to the buying public—you owe us reviews! Okay, that may be a bit extreme, but we do appreciate reviews whether they be through KQ, Paizo.com, DriveThruRPG, EN World, wherever. We love ‘em…

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One Too Many (Voices in My Head): Men’s Mountain Adventure

Stumps of trees cut by the Donner Party in Summit Valley, Placer CountyWelcome to Greg “Manly Man” Vaughan’s One Too Many (Voices in My Head). His last, best chance to exercise those pesky demons. In his column, you’ll find… I really have no idea, but he gave me $20, so… all yours Greg!

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Though I am an Okie through and through, I spent a portion of my years—specifically the junior high portion—in rural Alabama in the small town of Wetumpka. There, my best friend Harley Upchuck and I spent many a summer day playing D&D and then heading out into the woods for hiking and camping fun. While I’ll be the first to admit that I am no outdoorsman, I was a Scout in my youth… well, a Cub Scout anyway. So I, like many of my scouting peers, feel a certain justification in pretending to be outdoorsmen and getting into all sorts of trouble and mayhem that only the outdoors far from civilization can provide…

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