Kobold Press

Your Whispering Homunculus: 100 Strange Pets

Your Whispering Homunculus

“Bring it here!”

“Bring what here, master?”

“I’m not going to argue with you, cockroach, nor engage in tittle-tattle with a creature unable to beat a slug at snap or a hedgehog at cribbage. I’m referring to the thing you just put in the cupboard.”

“Oh that, ’tis nothing master, just some stray kitten I found.”

“I see, then let me have it.”

“Yes, master, here it is.”

“Kitten, you say. How odd. I thought they normally had four legs. Tell me, how would you describe this kitten of yours?”

“Fleshy.”

“And?”

“Unpleasing to the eye.”

“I see, and how many legs would you say it had?”

“Thirteen master.”

“Thirteen. Yes, I must confess, slimeslave, that I have yet to hear of any kitten with thirteen legs, pale flesh, and two heads. Not to mention the wings. You’ve been at my transmutation spellbook again haven’t you?”

“If I said yes would you punish me less for being honest master?”

“No.”

Anyone can have a cuddly kitten, a funny gerbil, or pet snake. These creatures are commonplace, but what kind of animals might appear in a pet shop where a manticore is a common sight, or in a world that breeds chokers and gibbering mouthers? Such places would surely have more exotic creatures than a slobbering collie dog or a purring fat cat.

Here is a list of exotic pets, together with a brief description if necessary. These creatures can become the basis for odd familiars, or even odder animal companions, the stuff of menageries or the servings at table. Some are less exotic and more tragic, some may defy logic, and others may in fact be fake. Some are very real, yet to look at them you’d think someone would have to make them up. Have fun with all of them, and be prepared to be surprised about just which are real and which are fantasy.

  1. Aardvark
  2. Anchovy
  3. Animated object, metal cat
  4. Animated object, rag owl
  5. Animated object, string mouse
  6. Animated object, tin dog
  7. Animated object, wood rat[1]
  8. Anteater
  9. Armadillo
  10. Babbington’s catsnake – a furry snake with a cat’s head and habits
  11. Babbington’s stirge-wren (1/8 HD)
  12. Black puddinglet (1/2 HD)
  13. Blind hairless rat
  14. Burrowing toad
  15. Bush pig
  16. Bushbaby
  17. Capybara
  18. Carpington’s Hog – a rare barking pig
  19. Cauler’s Manticore Lemur – a winged lemur with a barbed tail
  20. Chimera pig – basically a three headed pig, each face uglier than the last
  21. Cockatrice egg
  22. Crimson-hued fighting hedgehog
  23. Crying ball of fluff called a Crongkit Baby
  24. Curl-crested aracani
  25. Double-ended dog
  26. Dragon peacock – peacock that looks a bit like a dragon
  27. Drake Duck – a duck with leathery flesh that resembles a miniature drake
  28. Dusky Titi
  29. Edible Dormouse
  30. Extremely orange snake
  31. Fanalouc
  32. Fine water elemental
  33. Fury frog
  34. Gelatinous cubelet (1/2 HD)
  35. Ghoul mouse
  36. Giant mole
  37. Goblin dog puppy
  38. Greater Angry Tortoise – basically a  spitting tortoise
  39. Greater stirge-skunk in a cage – a very smelly stirge
  40. Green Day Gecko
  41. Hepher’s Molecat – a blind, very fat cat with big forepaws that digs numerous holes
  42. Herring
  43. House spider
  44. Hummingbird
  45. Judd’s Tiny Darkmantle (1/4 HD)
  46. Kreg – a sort of leathery sheep
  47. Leather gopher
  48. Leech
  49. Lime green toucan
  50. Lodd’s Crocodilemouse – a very small mouse with a very big mouth
  51. Long-fanged fighting toad
  52. Lumpry – a rather fat six-legged cat with a large head
  53. Matamata
  54. Meerkat
  55. Mite
  56. Mockingbird
  57. Munkrey – a leathery mammalian stick insect with large eyes that grows very attached to people
  58. Naked Mole-rat
  59. Nemicolopterus
  60. Newt
  61. Olm
  62. Otter
  63. Otter-civet
  64. Owlbadger (cross)
  65. Owlferret (crosser)
  66. Paddup’s Hydra-shrew – a five-headed shrew without legs
  67. Pink Fairy Armadillo
  68. Polecat
  69. Prigling – a dormouse-sized pig
  70. Pygmi’gator – a very, very small alligator that could sit in the palm of your hand
  71. Rat Snake
  72. Redgin’s Double-ended Mouse – seemingly two mice connected via a single tail
  73. Shoebill
  74. Skeleton, tortoise
  75. Slender loris
  76. Slether – a sort of caterpillar snake the size of an arm, covered in fur
  77. Slobbingon’s Frightfully Roperesque Hornbill – hornbill with an oddly ropery look about it
  78. Sloth
  79. Slowworm
  80. Small spotted miniature fire beetle
  81. Something that looks like a small rock – a small rock
  82. Squeaking ball of yellow fur known as a Yaktar
  83. Stickle-backed mouse
  84. Stirge in a cage
  85. Stonkington’s Screaming Squirrel
  86. Tackler’s Wrongcat – a very fleshy 13-legged cat, with wings and two heads
  87. Tackler’s Wrongmouse – a very large fat mouse with 6 legs and tentacles
  88. Tarsier
  89. Three-legged Cat
  90. Tiny Earth Elemental
  91. Tollman’s Jumping Rat
  92. Two-headed Squirrel
  93. Very Fat Peccary
  94. Very Sleepy Skink
  95. Vulture
  96. Wallaby
  97. Young Ankheg – very young, about the size of a finger
  98. Zombie Frog
  99. Zombie Stoat
  100. Zombie Toucan


[1] Come to think of it, this could have mileage all of its own making, watch this space for future animated chums

6 Replies to "Your Whispering Homunculus: 100 Strange Pets"

Todd Gdula

February 21, 2014 at 4:35pm

The double-ended dog has possibilities… especially depending on which end is doubled.

nmilasich

February 22, 2014 at 7:40am

Very nice, Mr. Pett. Pets from Pett. Mwhahahaha. . . .

Useful for flavorful familiars and vexing vermin.

I have stopped in the middle of my game to rapidly look up tables from TWH and describe items that raise the weirdness and awesome of my game to 11.

Thanks.

James Thomas

February 22, 2014 at 10:10am

Very amusing Rich. One of your best lists!

My favorite: “Extremely orange snake”. Sounds like a beverage at a fiendish juice bar.

I also like the banter with the homunculus. :)

Jackdaw

February 24, 2014 at 2:25pm

Always excellent. Thanks for all your hard work Mr Pett. If you take requests could you turn your talents to a list of intriguing documents that might be on a person as my pickpocketing players are heading to the market soonish.

richpett

March 1, 2014 at 5:17am

Huzzah!

I’ll give that some though Jackdaw, I have a couple of YWHs in the cellar fermenting just now but a content of pockets list is a good one. Somewhere in the YWH drafts folder I have a gear gear – basically a way of randomly creating gear for NPCs, that needs to be birthed soon as it would be useful.

Rich

Stephen Twining

March 1, 2014 at 4:08pm

Really dig the Black Puddinglet and the Gelatinous Cubelet. Brilliant.
The Mite and the Young Ankheg are great too, the Ankheg almost reminds me of Bug from the Micronauts, lol!
And wouldn’t every caster want a Tiny Earth Elemental as a homunculus?
Great Stuff, Mr. Pett!

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