Your Whispering Homunculus: 100 Obscure Professionals

February 13, 2013 / Richard Pett

“Master!”

“Again, slimesides, what now?”

“There is a woman at the door.”

“A woman? But it’s not Thursday.”

“No, no, master, another woman. This one is selling something.”

“Tell her to go away. I tire of interruptions.”

“But master, she claims to be the only black pudding-rearer this side of Glacierland!”

Let’s face it, some people have some pretty unusual jobs, and sometimes it’s hard not to be jealous of someone who seems to have an easy life or who is good at something no one else is. Conversely, it’s hard not to feel sorry that some have achieved their somewhat strange station in life in a job perhaps few would wish for.

Fantasy cities work in exactly the same way; there are people trading there who have few rivals, if any, and some misguided individuals who believe fame and fortune is only just around the corner for their obscure trade. There are also those who do jobs no one else would.

On the back of the earlier YWH One-Hundred Curious Emporiums, here then are One-Hundred Obscure Professionals to use as background color, as NPCs with a tale, or for amusement.

1. Lendrip Oswik, the World’s Greatest Aboleth Scholar
2. Bid Lechry, Bleacher
3. Sidney Ropwell, Carriage Lamp-Fitter
4. Sage Gentry Horace Queld Marrimen—Cathedral Architect
5. Dwarf Sheggly Mocrund, Master Chitin Crafter
6. Lazarus Hulld, Component Sourcer to the Royal Wizardry
7. Meg Mimply—Embalmer
8. Jacob Strange—Executioner
9. Matt the Fuller
10. The Great Oldwind, Garden Designer
11. Gnome Malldwick Shortsone, Gelatinous Cube Merchant
12. Sankl the Glassblower
13. Ulwin Beetleslayer, no Infestation too Great
14. Archibald Crudd, Royal Glue Merchant
15. Sparraw Turtlegraw—Gnome Taunter Extraordinaire!
16. Bot the Spade Merchant
17. Dot, son of Bot, Shovel Merchant
18. Hemlin, Master Sledge Maker
19. Freelinquin Ladysgrub, Masterwork Harpsichord Maker
20. Torren the Ship Designer
21. Mistress Jubb, Griffon Dealer of Countless Continents
22. Master Jubb, Hippogriff Trainer Extraordinaire!
23. Hazlet the Lime Burner
24. Lime the Hazlet Maker
25. Juppy Mudlark
26. Dabb Clogger
27. The Honorary Jacob Garb, the Cheese Monger
28. The Great Quondrian, Naga Sage and Master of Snakes
29. Mullins, Grubb and Tulin, Paste Gem Makers
30. The Enigmatic Gratter, Professional Cloaker Hunter
31. Tar the Fearless, Professional Owlbear Tamer
32. His Holiness Zeluder Trudge, Pudding-Rearer and Ooze Sage
33. Tailor Frin, Rag and Bone Man
34. Young Festus, Royal Riding Dog Trainer
35. Kalun the Ruff Merchant
36. Jagreb the Cony Catcher
37. Farrin the Tikka Grinder
38. Joob Skinner
39. Jacob the Peatcutter
40. Lawrin Arkwright, Manufacturer of Masterwork Sealing Wax
41. Watwell’s Amazing Wall Shield Mart
42. The Amazing Lady Fress, Snake Charmer and Hypnotist
43. Barrin the Soap Merchant
44. Happy Abe Klepwright, Master Spoon Carver
45. J B Griullitt and Son, Torture Chamber Fitter
46. Mabb the Woad Dyer
47. Physician Altreeb Nector—Leech Collector
48. Vof the Gravedigger
49. Captain Hubbard Tryst—Vampire Hunter
50. Petal the Eel Fisher
51. Calwin Cob, Master Cutler
52. Chubb the Mousetrap Maker
53. Netwin Jon the Distiller
54. Jogg Twine, Featherman by Royal Appointment
55. Patterdon the Fell Monger
56. Twill Bentram, Master Muffin Maker
57. Bog Gelder
58. Elizbeth the Horner
59. Canner’s Clockery and Water Clock Workhouse
60. Sadge the Ratcatcher—Wererats a Speciality
61. Podge the Jagger
62. Tarpull the Knoller
63. Tarquin the Ewer
64. Hazzard Cavail, Freakshow Exhibit Recruiter
65. Brother Mantrim the Beekeeper
66. Nadge Natman, the World’s Only Bat Milker
67. The Singular Twerb, Silkworm Merchant to Kings and Queens
68. Antry Guess, Nailmaker
69. Elmin the Spider Gatherer
70. Ankrem the Malster
71. Tol the Dry Stone Waller
72. The Great Puddrin, Sap Merchant
73. Barnabus Quart, the Greatest Living Wax Fruit Maker
74. Gollin the Cloakseller
75. Ned the Ostler
76. Nadge Quarryman
77. Elis the Rag Cutter
78. Zolwin Zolwell, the Legend of Mandolin Making
79. Kuppy the Dowser
80. Jog Shambler
81. Karl the Wabster
82. Drebblin Marg, Mole Trapper
83. Mellenia Qurade, Lace Merchant
84. Toll the Bagman
85. Sarf the Shark-meat Pickler
86. Jacob Nodge, Nose-flute Carver Extraordinaire!
87. Tetchy Festus, the Master of all things of Wire
88. Hanris Slopseller
89. Anrus Crole the Plowman
90. Mistress Pickle, the Pickler who Pickles for Pickle-Loving Royals
91. Potwin the Brave, Milker of Centipede Poison
92. Jonjus and His Amazingly Curious Fish Mart
93. Magg the Helm Chinstrap Making Mistress
94. Dolg the Pigment Merchant
95. Gubb the Plucker
96. Rodgly Rugs
97. Jastwin the Masterwork Framemaker
98. Olwin Crab, Magnifying Lenses to the World
99. Tarquin Fimlake, the Stage Set Painter
100. Small Sleds by Thrab