Your Whispering Homunculus: A Plethora of d12 Tables (Part 1 of 4)
Master Pett’s Your Whispering Homunculus presents only the finest in British gaming. Indeed, you are not likely to find a more comprehensive assortment of miscellany anywhere.
(So much more than just another bloke in a dress.)
“What’s this strange object, master? I’ve just found it beside the wainscoting lying in dust.”
“That, Licelet, is a d12.”
“Hmm, now I recall, the dice that is much unused and unloved.”
“Indeed it is, Licelet, but not by all of us . . .”
I know it’s very sad, but some of us feel sorry for the humble d12 and regard it as much neglected. As you might know with YWH, I’ve always tried to tie in tables to dice so that you can easily generate results from any of the tables you wish to use.
Here then is a long overdue list of very simple tables that you can use during or in preparation for an adventure, and each uses the humble d12. I hope you enjoy this bakers-dozen of d12 tables and find some merit in them.
A Dozen Innkeepers Called Mumply
1. Jak Mumply wears an apron covered in fresh blood; he has a hair lip and scowls from beneath his heavily greased black comb-over.
2. Rose Mumply, people try not to notice Rose’s beard, but those who do mention it invariably end up on the wrong side of a thrown tankard. As a friend, Rose is as warm as her prodigious facial hair.
3. Loral Mumply is never in a good mood, looks halfway to undeath, and barely says more than a word a night. His curious tattoos look almost runelike, and some say he was once a powerful necromancer who had his mind eaten away by creatures from beyond.
4. Sidge Mumply, the ever-cheerful halfling landlady, can drink a pint of ale in one, can outdrink the toughest pirate and outswear the foulest mouthed harlot. Dressed in copious silks and with a flattering leather waistcoat, she takes snuff from a silver snuffbox and eats live crabs for fun.
5. Rognard Mumply has only just moved here from foreign shores. He still doesn’t speak the local language very well and often brings out the wrong drinks.
6. Mitch Mumply has a pet pig called Almond whom, she claims, is a polymorphed prince.
7. Hardgrip Mumply the dwarf tavern keeper makes the best meat pies this side of the sea, but invariably ends up unconscious on the bar by midnight after singing several dozen dwarf battle dirges.
8. Walter Mumply will talk to anyone he can about his harridan wife Tulip, except when his beloved is in earshot, that is.
9. Arran Mumply is a very handsome chap with an enormous bushy moustache and a dandy way with words. He likes nothing better than to regale ladies with unlikely and outrageous tales of his heroism, bravery, and strength.
10. Munt Mumply the gnome brewer and innkeeper is a retired ranger who keeps his former loyal animal companion Waltar on the bar stuffed. His beloved dire badger companion takes up quite a lot of space and it’s often tricky to see Munt beyond his beloved deceased friend. Munt’s only other peculiarity is that if you buy him a drink, you must buy Waltar one, too. The odd thing is that the drink somehow always goes without anyone noticing how.
11. Carterpark Mumply could have an argument in an empty room. He has opinions about everyone and everything, but his food and ale are reason enough for the locals to put up with his contrary nature.
12. Zord Mumply is an odd case. He sits at his bar eating boiled eggs most of the day and stares, particularly at strangers.
Watch for more d12 tables in upcoming weeks!